


Small Treasures

by kisahawklin



Series: Supernatural Season 12 Tagathon [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s12e10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9574235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: Sam and Cas have a chat over lunch.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am not really understanding Dean's characterization at all this season, and the baffling way he's interacting with both Sam and Cas should probably have me more concerned, but honestly all it's doing is making me look more at Sam and Cas and their interactions and how I want them both to be happy.

Sam watches Dean set his jaw, sandwich and coffee in hand, and walk right past Cas like he isn't even there. He sighs. He'd talked to Dean about it last night, and this morning, and while he was making the sandwich. He's not going to stop talking about it because sometimes Dean gets upset about the wrong part of the equation and does stupid shit like shut Cas out.

It's kind of nice, actually, that Dean _can_. They have the bunker, they have time and space and they aren't in any mortal danger, at least for a little while. They don't need to make their peace with each other right away. It's kind of refreshing to know that Dean can be a bit of an asshole, and they can give him the space to do it.

But he can tell Cas is hurt, and he hates it when Cas is hurt. Part of him misses when Cas never got hurt, or when the human part of the hurt didn't really matter to him and he would brush it off like the stupid nicknames and petty insults. He doesn't brush it off anymore, and Dean's been weird with him for a while now, and while Sam's been getting along with Cas a lot better, it doesn't help with Cas's pain. He wonders if he pulled some stupid stunt and acted pissed off at Cas if it would even bother him. Maybe he should try it, just to get Cas's mind off of Dean for a while.

Instead, Sam says, "I'm sorry." Apologies are his go-to. They're good for so many occasions, and he has a whole section of his library that are apologies for his brother. 

"Why?" Cas asks, still staring at the door like Dean might make a reappearance.

"Because Dean's being a dumbshit to you?" Sam says. "He's angry, and he's lashing out – and he can, because we're safe for right now – but mostly he's scared, Cas."

Cas turns to look at Sam, scrutinizing him closely. Sam stands and waits for Cas to finish his analysis. That is one of the hardest things he's had to learn with Cas, to stay still and let Cas see him, to weigh and measure him. He comes up wanting much less often with Cas than with Dean.

"I understand that," Cas says. "It doesn't make it any less childish. Or frustrating."

A laugh is startled out of Sam. He may think in the privacy of his thoughts that Dean's acting like a twelve-year-old, but he would never say it out loud. Well, maybe, to Dean, if he got frustrated enough. But not to anyone else. "Yeah, but just ride it out. Dean'll get over it. He always does."

Cas rolls his eyes and takes a seat at the kitchen table while Sam fixes his lunch. "So Dean has done this to you as well. And often, it seems."

Sam's grateful for having his back turned. He doesn't think smiling at Dean's pettiness is the reaction Cas is looking for. He knows Dean, though, and this reaction, while stupid, is reassuring to him. It's familiar. It feels like maybe Dean is healing up a little of the hardness that's begun to fossilize around him in the last few years. "He used to."

Cas hums. "I don't wish to talk about your brother anymore, if that's okay."

Sam finishes spreading the mustard on his bread, lays it nicely on top of his sandwich, and brings it to the table to sit with Cas. "Yeah, okay. But can we talk about your decision a little, Cas? Because I am not sure it was the right one."

"It was," Cas says. "Who would have died, if it had to be one of you?"

Sam had asked himself that over and over again while he'd been trying to figure out Dean's mindset. He'd gladly have sacrificed himself, and he'd known Dean was the same, so how was Billie going to choose? They would never come to an understanding themselves. Maybe she'd have gotten bored and wandered off.

But they'd both stood there while their mom had a gun to her head. If it'd been Dean, Sam knows he would've rushed him. He would've been wrestling with Dean, finding a way to make sure Dean couldn't hurt himself. With Mom, he'd just been so surprised… and he didn't have the automatic "stop at all costs" reaction he's always had when Dean endangered himself. 

"Sam?" Cas asks gently. "How would you and Dean have come to a decision?"

Sam shrugs. "I think eventually Billie would have had to choose. Or we'd have done random chance."

Cas smiles at that, a disbelieving half-smile. "And if you lost, you think Dean would simply be okay letting you die."

Maybe, he thinks. Just lately, Dean's been treating him like a grown-up. It's refreshing, in some ways. In other ways there's nothing he wants more than to be Dean's little Sammy again, to have that over-protective big brother back.

"Let me put it another way – would you have interfered if Dean lost the coin toss?"

Sam laughs. The funnies thing about this is that he can't decide if losing the coin toss means you'd die, or that if losing the coin toss means you'd live. It would've been good for some distraction with Billie, probably a laugh or two, before things got super awful. 

But he knows the question. If Dean was the one, would Sam interfere? He's terrible at hypothetical questions – for all that he thinks through as much of every situation as he can, when it comes down to it, he relies on his gut, just the way Dean does. "I don't know, Cas. I don't think either of us thought it through that far."

"Obviously."

Sam takes a bite of his sandwich to cover his amusement, chewing thoughtfully. Cas has come through for them many times. Chosen them over all comers, even other angels. Mostly Dean, but lately Sam, too. Maybe things have just shifted that way. Maybe it's Cas that's his overprotective big brother now. Maybe Cas taking that burden is what's allowing Dean to rest, to be his bratty inner twelve-year-old. 

And the only reason to examine Cas's choice after the fact is to analyze it so that a change in behavior can be made if the choice comes up again – which it will, Sam knows, because cosmic consequences aren't small potatoes. But there's probably no way to convince Cas to make any other choice, regardless of the circumstances, so debating the relative merits of impossible choices is just an exercise in futility.

"Hey Cas?"

Cas looks up, meeting Sam's eyes and patiently waiting for Sam's next question. Sam doesn't forget what Cas is, not the way Dean seems to. He knows that Cas is an angel and that they should be honored to have him with them, and he tries to keep it in mind. But every once in a while, when Cas looks at him with patience, and, fine, probably love, Sam is more than honored, he's humbled. And grateful.

"Thank you."

Cas smiles at him, a soft, honest smile that Sam gets often these days. He collects them, treasures them.

"You're welcome."


End file.
